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Alright, stop; collaborate and listen. Dunning∿Kruger FX is back with a brand new invention.
Finally, a way to inject vintage tone and vintage feelings into modern pedals: Sympathetic Mojolators
These revolutionary circuit side-cars impart a subtle but emotionally-real* vintage flavor, wicking away the brittle harshness of digital and silicon-based components on a psychoacoustic† level. Compatible with all pedals‡, Sympathetic Mojolators are a drop-in solution for obtaining sweet, sweet tones and adulation on social media. No soldering required! (Nor recommended!)
Currently available in two distinct designs to allow for maximal tone-tailoring and the impression of individuality: Ol’ Carbonsides and the Piet Mondrianian. Collect them all!
* Dunning∿Kruger FX cannot legally substantiate the existence of emotions or their effect on tone.
† Referring to the scientific study of sound perception and audiology, not the 1960 Alfred Hitchcock film Psycho or the acoustic properties of its shower.
‡ This statement is objectively false, but it sounded really impressive, right? That’s the Sympathetic Mojolator advantage!
Ol’ Carbonsides
When cannon fire from the HMS Guerriere supposedly bounced off of the hull of the USS Constitution, an American sailor reportedly exclaimed, “Huzzah! her sides are made of iron!” which allegedly led to the frigate’s nickname of “Old Ironsides.” The sides are not made of iron though—they’re wood, which, like all organic materials, is carbon-based. Just like carbon comp resistors, the most toneful of all electrically-resistive items.
Ol’ Carbonsides features several carbon comp resistors in various states of glorious-sounding decay. Their unnecessarily enormous size provides a visual cue to their potential for huge tone. A particularly filthy ceramic capacitor provides just the right amount of touch-sensitive microphonic interactivity, and a twisted pair of wires terminating in a NOS wire nut acts essentially as a tone funnel, concentrating tone where it’s needed most. Any tone loss suffered from a feeble cermet trim pot in the parent circuit is reinvigorated by a full-sized 25mm pot—the knob says it all.
Simply placing an Ol’ Carbonsides in close proximity to the circuitry of a working effect pedal induces sympathetic eddy currents within the electromagnetic field, which excite the components in Ol’ Carbonsides and (thanks to Newton’s Third Law) proportionally remove any of the “sharp edges” that would otherwise result from the parent circuit’s sterile metal film resistors, silicon transistors, or, heaven forbid, digital components.
Vital Stats
The Piet Mondrianian
We receive letters almost every day asking the same question: “Dear Messrs. Dunning and/or Kruger, I have strong opinions on how a pedal should sound and several unfounded ideas on how to achieve it, but what if I want my circuits to also visually represent my mental state, which is that of a wall of intricately gridded windows that someone has shot all of the glass out of with a BB gun?”
Enter the Piet Mondrianian. It functions in a similar fashion to the rest of the Sympathetic Mojolator line, but while Ol’ Carbonsides is served on a rustic platter of beige vero, the Piet Mondrianian is an abstract intertwining of form and function.
Vertical and horizontal lines are the expression of two opposing forces; these exist everywhere and dominate everything; their reciprocal action constitutes “life.”
Piet Mondrian, Plastic Art and Pure Plastic Art, 1937
Such is the relationship between the Piet Mondrianian and the pedal with which it is paired, imbuing tone as art and art as tone. More to the point, its point-to-point circuit paths invite electrons to take respite in the warm tolerance of its vintage parts (some of these resistors had tolerances of 10% back when they were within spec). Its crisp angles encourage electronic forces to “take it easy” in the corners and not be in such a dang rush, with all of the obvious tone implications. A unique system for swapping in additional components via a proprietary solderless connection unlocks vast tweakability options, limited only by your imagination and its imaginary impact on tone.
Vital Stats
Toan Shieldz
In order to protect the electronic and visual integrity of the circuits (saying nothing about the integrity of the manufacturer or user), each Sympathetic Mojolator comes with a Toan Shieldz-brand tone shield. Toan Shieldz are inserts that can be shaped, folded, and placed on top of the parent circuit to separate it from the Sympathetic Mojolator and visually obfuscate the underlying circuit for emotional comfort. Without getting too technical, Toan Shieldz are made from a special type of thin, processed cellulose fiber product that provides incidental electrical insulation without impeding the transient 2nd-order Nyquist Induction Field that allows Sympathetic Mojolators to interact with the parent circuit on a more “spiritual” level. Each is decorated to give the general impression of an expertly-wired true-bypass circuit, and is available in all reasonable pedal enclosure sizes (i.e., 125B).
Toan Shieldz are incompatible with bass guitar pedals.
Dunning-Kruger FX pedals have always been a picture of class, but the Sympathetic Mojolators are sophistication cranked to eleven!
These impart a rich, full-bodied banquet of sound. Think of the most decadent Cabernet Sauvignon swirling in your glass, ready to dazzle your palette — that, my friends, is what my ears feasted upon.
The Ol’ Carbonsides isn’t just for show; it’s about feel, about expression. Thump it hard with a pick and it roars back with a textured growl. Tease it with the soft touch of your fingers and it responds with warmth and soulful character. My guitar’s volume knob? More like my personal conductor’s baton, cleaning up the fuzz as smoothly as a maestro commands silence.
Stacking this beauty with my overdrive pedals provides a tasting menu of tonal delights. Much like a master chef, the Nero allowed me to layer flavour upon flavour into an auditory feast.
The Piet Mondrianian though — Lo, the different fuzz frenzies to induce, and induce I did! Oh, the creative doors this has opened up in my playing – talk about being spoiled for choice!
Let there be no confusion. These aren’t merely accessories; they are a treasure trove of dynamic versatility, the new cornerstone (pun attempted!) of my sound. You’d best believe it’s got pride of place on my board, and I dare say it might just have set a new standard for what I expect from an audio device.
Consider this my love letter to the Sympathetic Mojolators, which have truly redefined the riffing experience for me. If the proof is in the pudding, then these are absolute crackers. Highly recommended for all who wish their licks laden with a touch of luxury!